So, over the past 15 weeks or so I have been hiding a big surprise! I am pregnant! I am currently 15 ½ weeks and honestly feeling pretty darn good! In fact, feeling (surprisingly) good during this pregnancy has been a big form of anxiety for me. Almost everything I read/ heard from others was that they felt horrible, had to take naps throughout the day, experienced nausea, morning sickness, you name it. And while I had a few brief periods of feeling a little nauseous, some cravings/ aversions and a bit more tired than normal (mostly I just didn’t feel like doing much in the evenings- but honestly, this isn’t that unusual for me haha) I felt great!
I want to do a bit of a recap over the past 15 weeks and then start posting more regularly about baby stuff from here on out. You see, I have been extremely interested in hormones, fertility, pregnancy, and all things baby for a while now and I’m very excited to start to share some of this information! Also, I’ll be posting some blog posts that I wrote before I found out I was pregnant, and a bit of our story about the journey to pregnancy (which was not an easy one and was a really tough time for me).
But let’s go back a bit in time and I’ll share a bit of a summary from each week! I’ll do this in two parts, because there is just too much info to share in one post! Part 1 will be weeks 5-8.
The fifth week of pregnancy went by pretty quickly because we went home to New Jersey for Thanksgiving. I told my parents that we were pregnant about a week earlier so they were really excited (especially my Mom!)
Overall I’m feeling pretty good still! Not majorly tired, no real sickness (except I do feel nauseous from time to time and I threw out all of the Thanksgiving leftovers when we came home- for some reason the thought of cranberry sauce, stuffing and sweet potatoes made me ill!) but I still don’t really “feel” pregnant. I got the results back from my first HCG test and everything looked great. In 3 days I went from 274 to 892, so a nice big jump, but I still find myself stressing constantly.
I think it’s just when you want something for so long, it almost feels surreal when you get it. It was kind of like the first couple of weeks Erik and I were engaged- I was just so ecstatic and it hardly felt real. But at least then I could look down at my ring and know it was all true! So much of this early pregnancy is just wrapped up in fear and I am trying so hard to pull myself out of it. I keep trying to tell myself there is no reason to be so scared/ anxious. I have no indication nothing is wrong (although I kind of wish I felt MORE of something to really root me down in this pregnancy) and I have no family history of this type of thing. Also, I have to believe that from a vitamin/ mineral point of view, I should be golden. I started taking pre-natals over a year ago, so baby should have tons of good folate and b vitamins to use!!
Week 6 was a week of highs and lows. Yesterday a sort of calm came over me and as I was exhausted and laying on the couch I wasn’t worrying so much. I feel like everything is going to go perfectly (today I get test results for my progesterone levels from Friday) and I feel like the ultrasound next week is going to show our baby with its strong little heartbeat. I can’t wait!
I definitely felt more tired this past week. Not tired like I needed to take a nap every afternoon, but just lethargic and I didn’t really want to do much. I’ve found that the mornings are pretty good for me (I’m semi nauseous and the only thing that sounds good is smoothies) but both mornings I was able to get out for a nice walk with Kenzie, go grocery shopping on Saturday and go to Zumba on Sunday. But once about 12 or 1 pm hits, I am DONE (which will be a very interesting experience now that I’m back to work….) and all I want to do is lay on the couch and watch TV. Yesterday I tried to get my nails done at around 1pm and I was dying. I actually considered leaving!
Week 7 was a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. The week started out kind of rough- I had such strong dreams and feelings that everything was okay, but when I got my progesterone level results and they went down a bit from two weeks earlier, I started to panic. Our ultrasound was supposed to be on Thursday, but I could NOT wait that long and moved it up to Tuesday.
The panic I felt on Monday was nothing compared to the joy and relief I felt on Tuesday at our ultrasound! I’ve been a bit on the fence about the safety of ultrasounds and all these invasive scans, but the emotional power of seeing our baby and its strong heartbeat was overwhelming. It was a truly beautiful moment that I’ll never forget.
Unfortunately, that didn’t mean all of my anxiety disappeared. I still have some fears about making it through this first trimester, but it’s starting to dissipate. Talking to my baby helps- telling the baby why I’m scared but that I know everything is going to be perfect and okay. And also telling people we’re pregnant helps! All these people are now thinking such good, positive thoughts with us and so happy and excited for us. It also makes it feel a lot more “real”.
On Saturday we told Erik’s mom and brother. This Christmas is an especially tough time this year because this past July we lost Erik’s Dad. We went over to her house and were decorating her tree, and she actually started to get a bit emotional about the process. Then we handed her the ornament below and in her words it “changed everything”. Everyone was crying and hugging and just so, so happy. It was the best.
On Sunday we had two of our best friends (who are dating- how awesome is that!) come over for dinner. I left the ornament on the tree to see if they would notice it (which my friend actually said she looked right at it but didn’t read it!) but then put the little sign back on Kenzie and had her walk into the living room. Haha there were more tears and lots of hugging and happiness. It was a great moment and night.
How am I feeling? Honestly, not that bad. My boobs are pretty much always sore (although the intensity varies by day), I’m definitely hungrier but have very specific foods that I’m in the mood to eat, I have days of feeling incredibly tired, but other days where I’ve felt pretty normal! So it’s been pretty up and down. In a way, it makes it tough because I kind of want to just feel terrible all the time since that is just SUCH a clear sign that everything is still happening/ going okay. But that just might not be me, and I should be thankful I don’t feel awful and can still do most of the things I normally do. We’ll see what this week brings though!
For the most part, I felt pretty good during week 8! I read that the placenta starts to take over in this phase of pregnancy, so some women experience relief from symptoms. I still have a bit of nausea in the morning and my appetite is still rampant, but I wasn’t nearly as tired as week 7. Also, my hair seems to be thickening. Usually when I shower/ brush my hair a LOT falls out but now I’m only getting a few strands. And I feel like my hair has really been growing.
In terms of mood, this week has been up and down. I’ve felt a bit more emotional and moody and have taken it out on Erik a few times. I got another progesterone test and while I was happy my levels stayed steady from last time and didn’t decrease, I still wish it was a bit higher.
These weeks are just so hard because I feel so unsure of everything. Everything is new and I’m constantly just worried and want to make sure everything is all right. But I combine this with the fact that I’ve been reading lots of books/ articles about how we are often checking “too much” on the babies during pregnancy with ultrasounds, dopplers, etc. and that might not be good for them either. It’s just a balance between wanting to make sure and confirm everything is going well, and just trusting my body.
This week is big since we have our first doctor appointment with a new doctor in Cambridge. I’m hoping everything goes well and I like the practice and I’m also looking forward to hearing/ seeing our baby!
So that was weeks 5-8! I will be putting up at some point our journey to getting pregnant and also finding out we were pregnant/ telling Erik. Thank you for reading and ask any questions below!