First pregnancy update for the blog! I know I have been incredibly quiet on here lately. I’ve still been writing in my journal/ typing out some updates because it really does help with my anxiety to write, but I’ve been pretty absent on this platform.
Honestly, I’ve felt stuck lately in terms of blog content- we are cooking a ton of meals at home (aren’t we all!) but a lot of times by the time we eat I just don’t feel inspired anymore/ it’s late and I’m not taking pictures of my food. Then there is everything going on in the world with COVID, the (necessary) awakening for so many of us with the Black Lives Matter movement, politics, etc. that a lot of times I just don’t feel like I have anything useful to add. I’m doing a lot of learning, reading, and listening but not really feeling like I’m the person who should be sharing all of this, since I’m still learning as well.
Anyway, back to baby! I can’t believe we are over halfway there (I’m 23 weeks) and while at the beginning each week just dragged by, now that I am feeling the baby move more and I’ve had some very reassuring appointments, the weeks are moving much faster.
What’s Different from Last Time
This pregnancy feels really different from last time in a few ways. My symptoms were a bit different in the beginning (some stronger, some less) this time around so I was actually leaning towards us having a boy- but once again- it’s a girl! I did have a dream it was a girl around 8 weeks, so I need to learn to trust my intuition versus my head!
I wasn’t necessarily nauseous in the first trimester; it was more that nothing sounded appealing to eat. I ended up just going with a lot of carb-y foods, so my sourdough baking habit has come in handy. I didn’t want anything to do with vegetables or salads, so I was hiding veggies in smoothies like cauliflower rice and spinach just to get them down. I also felt pretty tired, but I’m also chasing around a toddler so that isn’t really a surprise. I do sometimes miss the days of being able to just lay on the couch after work!
Being pregnant during a pandemic is weird. I have to say I’m thankful it’s my second pregnancy (although I truly believe a baby is a blessing and all the rock star moms pregnant with their first right now are incredible!) but I feel so badly for those who have to miss baby showers, have no idea what birth will look like, have to worry about COVID for themselves or their baby, or are worried about family visiting. I’m thinking about all of these things as well but also feel more at ease with my decisions surrounding them because it’s my second child and I trust my instincts more.
Doctor visits have been few and far between which didn’t help my anxiety in the beginning. We had to wait until almost 10 weeks for our first appointment for a doppler reading, and they were unable to find a heartbeat. It was so scary and stressful but I was able to get an ultrasound immediately and the baby was totally fine. I later found out I have an anterior placenta this time (so the placenta is in front and between the baby and my stomach) so it has taken me longer to feel movement and her movement isn’t that consistent, although I am feeling it every day now thankfully.
I was more anxious in the first trimester than I expected. I remember last time around thinking my next pregnancy I wouldn’t be stressed as much, but it was still very tough for me. But once I got to the second trimester I felt much better and now I’m more thinking through birth scenarios, etc. but feeling more excited versus nervous! Also like I said above, I now trust my intuition so much more and feel a lot more confident in the decisions I’ve made for my daughter/ family. I no longer feel the need to research everything like crazy or to validate my choices.
That’s all for now! I’m feeling unbelievably grateful to be pregnant again and am praying every day for a beautiful, healthy baby in November. I appreciate everyone who sent congratulations and will plan to do another update in a few weeks!